I was well glad Top Gear was on again tonight, I hadn't heard anything about this 'the stig will be reviled' bullhockey, anyway they properly got us all believing they were going to reveal the stig because the media speculation regarding his identity had led to the man wanting to reveal himself, apparently.
Now don't get me wrong I've wanted to know who the stig is simply due to his lap record that beats several Formula 1 greats, however all the no speaking, tame racing driver character crap has some what destroyed the fact its just a better version of that Masked Magician: Secrets Revealed programme on sky one, we all like a bit of secret identity people, I mean who is Puentae the Mexican Tea Fairy?
Anyway, the stig was initially revealed as Michael Schumacer, now I always had my suspicions it was an F1 test driver or Tiff Neddell who licked the back of an F1 career with a couple of races. Nevertheless it seemed plauseable that Schumacer could be the Stig, he is credited as the best F1 driver ever, hence the time on the lap. But then Clarkson began taking cheap shots at him by bringing up the fact he literally took Damon Hill off the track to win a championship and how he promotes Don't Drink and Drive campaigns but "Here are some photos of you pissed", instantly seemed like an interview with a guest rather than the Stig.
Then at the end they show a video of Michael doing a lap in the old reasonably priced car and failing to drive it, then for no reason whatsoever he sods off out of shot and off the track, Clarkson then announces he's lost and then says Michael Schumacer is not the Stig.
The whole thing perplexed me really, it just came through as a waste of my time, we got a weird interview with Schumacer and a load of hype that just stirs the media speculation shite up even more.
Turns out, the Stig was revealed as the stunt man who works on James Bond films and had single seater racing career. This was in the Telegraph in January after the last series of Top Gear, therefore like the last Stig his identity has been revealed so they get rid of him.
How cool would have an interview been with the James Bond Stuntman? Not only would the BBC pissed in the eye of the "STIG REVEALED!!!" media stuff but we could have seen some genuine James Bond stunt stuff, but no, mainly for two reasons, firstly Pinewood Studios would have been queer about it and charged all the behind-the-scenes stunt footage at 900 billion pounds and secondly the BBC are the biggest spoon turners in the spin of the Stig because they can sell t-shirts saying "I am the Stig" and Stig USB Pens.
Everyone is on Twitter saying "why use Michael Schumacer though? Double bluff maybe?" But no, this actually relates in to one of my favourite bits about Top Gear. Tonight they had a go with a Ferrari FXX which is basically a super-race-bastard of the Enzo, however Ferrari wouldn't lend Top Gear an Enzo to test, or its predesor the frighfully pornographic F50.
In comes Schumacer, the very efficent Ferrari straddling German that gets paid to simply stand next to anything with a Fiat Ferrari badge on it. When he decided he'd won enough Formula 1, Ferrari gave him the 30th Ferrari FXX claiming it to be the last ever made, it is also the most unique being the only black one, and the one used on Top Gear.
Why they can't just tell us all that I don't know, I think its quite funny that Ferrari won't lend cars to Clarkson; it makes them look like poncey-italian-types and Clarkson look like a big-shouty-tyre-burning-buffon who can't have a go on the big posh car because he'd arse it up. Absolutely mind blowing awesome Ferrari though, it shat all over the power lap time, although it won't be there next week because its not street legal, however it sounded like an awesome piece of machine and looked incredable on the track.
Sorry for the rant but I hate to see what is one of the best bits of TV over the last few years fall subject to mindless crap that the tabloids can't wait to dig their claws in, the fact is Top Gear is a car show, and they've always upheld some merit in car journalism despite being a trio of oafs who fall over alot!
Below is a video of Schumacer in his FFX, it really is an awesome car, I do love a Ferrari.
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